26 Apr Wedding Day Regrets

So you have set a date and wedding planning is going amazing. You check, check and check again every single little detail to make sure everything is just so.

As a bride you want your big day to be everything you have ever dreamed of, so feeling pressure to get things right is only natural and it turns out you are not alone in feeling like this.

It has come to light that most brides (and grooms) have some sort of regret about their big day. With 82% of woman admitting they wound change at least one part of their big day if they were tying the knot again. One of the biggest things that brides would change if they could turn back the clock? The wedding dress! But it’s not just the dress that’s an issue – 52% would have changed the best man’s speech, 38% would have switched up their hair and make-up, 30% regretted poor wedding photos and 21% would have changed their bridesmaids (bit harsh). 34% would have changed how much they spent because “it probably won’t happen again”.

These shocking statistics got me thinking- how many people actually have these kinds of regrets…..I asked married couples via social media ‘If you could tie the knot all over again what would you change?’ Here’s what they had to say…

“We didn’t book a separate wedding car but I really wish that we had … It would have been really nice to have a few minutes to decompress after the ceremony … and enjoy those first ‘wow’ moments of being married.”-Sarah

“We would change how many people we invited to the evening ceremony, Don’t invite friends of friends just because you feel you have to! They will just come for the free party rather than being there to actually celebrate your marriage.” -Jane & Tom

“The only thing I would have changed was where we got married, don’t get me wrong the Manor House was absolutely gorgeous but we wanted to get married abroad.” -Jack & Rose

” The guest list, we had far too many family members that didn’t send Christmas cards, or cards when the kids were born, we invited them because we felt like we had to, mainly to please parents/ grandparents. And the photographer, we went for the most expensive assuming they would be great but we didn’t gel very well at all and had very poor communication after the wedding (after they had been paid essentially!)”-Lauren & Andy

“The only thing I would do differently would be to practice wearing my shoes prior to the day! “- Maria

“We didn’t have a receiving line, and I so wish we had. There are so many people that I remember seeing briefly at our wedding but never actually talking with because we thought we’d have enough time to greet everyone when we actually didn’t. We were pulled away from the fun for pictures, eating, dancing, garter, and bouquet tosses, and such that we didn’t have time to share our joy with all our guests.” – Hannah

“We definitely would have planned for our first dance better. It took us a while to decide on a good song to dance to and when we finally did, it was about a week before the wedding. So we just got up there to dance and slowly strutted in circles for almost four minutes because we hadn’t discussed or worked on any sort of fun routine.” -Jeremy & Sam

“If I could change anything about our wedding it would be to tell my self to stop worrying so much and I really wish I had let go & enjoyed it more. We spent far to much money on things that didn’t matter and if I had the chance to do it all again I would keep it very low key with only close family invited”-Michelle

But do not fret- It would appear that’s it’s not all doom & gloom when it comes to wedding regrets as 18% of couples say they had the ‘perfect day’ of their dreams, these couples tell all when asked the same question…. (If you could tie the knot all over again what would you change?)

“Not a thing! Loved our wedding and so did our photographer who waxed lyrical about how it was the best wedding he’d ever been to every time we saw him! Though I’d change the weather as it was cold and windy – in July! xxx” – Jo

“Nothing best day of my life, lovely weather great people x” – Lisa & John

” Getting to marry the man of my dreams, my soul mate means I have no regrets about our wedding day. Yes it was stressful planning such a big event & it rained like you would not believe BUT in the end none of that matters as its about 2 individuals becoming one”-Janet

So what can you do to avoid these regrets?

Well……

Shop around for your dress, don’t rush the decision. Give yourself plenty of time to go and try on lots of different styles and try to have an open mind about different styles.

Don’t feel pressured into buying a dress there and then if you need to go away and think about it…..do! If you are still umming and ahhhing after a good nights sleep it probably isn’t the dress for you but if you can’t get it out of your head that’s probably a good sign! At House of Oliver we will always hold a dress for 24-48 hours (on request) to allow you to think about it.

Research, research, research! Regretting your wedding make up and photographer is something that can be easily avoided with careful planning. Make sure you have a trial and if you are not happy with it ask for another one, shop around ask your friends who they would recommend.

Check out the photographers website to get a good idea of their style and the kinds of photos they take. Write a list of must have shots too so nothing gets forgotten, the photographer can keep this on them. Although trivial I would really recommend it. Make sure you sign a contract with your photographer and have a few meetings with them to get a feel of their work and whether you like them or not.

In terms of the guest list – be selfish! If there’s someone on there that’s giving you sleepless nights you probably know the answer as to whether you want them there or not. If you are footing the bill for your own wedding you shouldn’t have to answer to anyone else. If it’s really important to your mum that aunty so and so and the neighbour comes and you feel that it’s more important to keep your mum happy that’s fine but don’t invite people just because you feel you have to. In years to come you’ll want to look back on your day knowing it was full of people you wanted there.

Lastly Enjoy it – at the end of the day – as one of real brides said above – it’s about you and your partner getting married and a celebration of the love you have for each other! If at the end of the day you have a ring on your finger and a husband/wife by your side then you have done something right. Wedding planning very rarely come 100% stress free, keep in mind the reason you are doing it – each other and look forward to an amazing life together.

And there you have it brides- True wisdom from real couples who have been to the altar and back! (And lived to tell the tale)